Why You Need Totems to Navigate Major Shifts in Your Life

@MarySueIRL

October 25, 2025

When you are working to achieve a big change in your life you invest a lot of time gathering insights and information from many sources, be those books, mentors, therapists, counselors, coaches, retreats, methodologies and more. Your smart brain gets it. But it takes a whole other set of muscle to drive new behaviors into your inner wiring and get that to work IN REAL LIFE.

This was written by a human. Not AI.

This is me sharing words from my brain, in my own quirky way, with you, just as if we were sitting together chewing the cud and spilling some tea.

Thanks for being here.

I developed KindEdge as the doable, real-life antidote to the decades of guru inspo that left me inspired but still rolling back into old grooves and default modes. There are always invisible walls that hold us back from big life change. We need to practice, practice, practice before we are truly able to decode and confront the daily challenges that hold us back from the big goals and better lives we are working toward. This is where totems come in to save the day.

Totems, in my KindEdge practice, are objects we carry with us in our daily lives. These objects bring the words of our wise minds and our higher selves into the chaotic, unexpected, unplanned challenging moments in our daily lives. We can only really rewire one problematic default mode at a time. So we take one wise mindset or new skill and we embed a reminder of that new mode into an object we'll have with us. It could be your phone's screensaver, and it could be on any of the objects I built for myself and that are now housed in the KindEdge Amazon store.

When you have a keychain with you that says "This Goal ain't no Side Hustle" ...you be tested each time you "downgrade" this Project of You to the last thing in your day, and to the lowest dollar investment. If your big goal or this new way of life is worthwhile, it's worth putting first to make sure it becomes real now, and not the day before you die. This dream, this desire, this change, is not a side hustle. You are practicing moving away from that fearful, uncertain mindset wherein you are afraid to talk about your dream in public, and you're afraid to take money out of your budget to invest in it, and you are afraid to negotiate hard with your employer, your spouse or others in your community to make time for this new and important part of you. When you have that keychain with you that says "this ain't no side hustle" you are reminded that no matter how embarrassing or cringey it may be to express your new goal or new dream in the real world, it is your MAIN hustle. It is the thing that will unlock the alternate ending to your life. By pushing past your uncomfortable edge—the fear or hesitance that has held you back in the past—and making this something that gets you excited and into an infinitely-sustainable flow every day (the "kind" part of KindEdge), the Project of You becomes real. Today.

So these totems are part of practicing new ways and of building a muscle for change. Objects of meaning bring your wise mind's words into real life to give you a nudge and a boost right when and where you need it.

These videos offer a few examples how totems can help you achieve big life change.

Watch these videos that discuss how totems can help you achieve the big life change you seek.

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